Opinion: Best of the Web Today: Bam Bites Dog

One time Barack Obama went to an Indian restaurant and ordered the lassi. Was he ever disappointed when the waiter brought him a yogurt drink!

We'll be here all week. But seriously, folks, we have a man-bites-dog story for you today.

First, some background. Last week Byron York of the Washington Examiner reported that "some Obama staffers are reportedly obsessing over a nearly 30-year-old story about [Mitt] Romney's dog":

In 1983, Romney took his family on vacation and, faced with a packed station wagon, put his Irish setter Seamus in a travel kennel strapped to the roof of the car. Romney constructed a special windshield in an effort to make the dog more comfortable, but Seamus ended up relieving himself on the roof, which reportedly caused much consternation among the Romney boys. Ever since the story got out--it was reported by the Boston Globe in 2007, during Romney's first run for president--Romney opponents have used it in semiserious and sometimes fully serious ways to portray him as insensitive.

"I have heard, in focus groups, the dog story totally tanks Mitt Romney's approval rating," Chris Hayes said on his MSNBC show. The Washington Post reported last month that the Seamus story "is ballooning into a narrative of epic proportions":

Late-night host David Letterman has been giving the dog near-nightly shout-outs. There are parody Web videos, "Dogs Aren't Luggage" T-shirts and Facebook groups. ("Dogs Against Romney," which protested outside last month's Westminster dog show, has more than 38,000 Facebook fans.) The New Yorker featured a cartoon, with Rick Santorum riding in Romney's rooftop dog carrier, on its cover last week. In the five years since the story was revealed, New York Times columnist Gail Collins has mentioned Seamus in at least 50 columns.

In January Obama adviser David Axelrod--not to be confused with Axelrod, the Flying A Dog--blew a dog whistle. He tweeted a photo of the president with Bo, the White House canine, in what appears to be the back seat of a limousine. Axelrod's comment: "How loving owners transport their dogs."

In a more serious vein, Lincoln Mitchell of Columbia University's Harriman Institute writes at the Puffington Host: "For many voters, treating a dog this way is unimaginable and could only be done by somebody who has a problem empathizing with others."

But then Jim Treacher, the Daily Caller's resident wag, picked up his dog-eared copy of "Dreams From My Father," Obama's 1995 autobiography, and sniffed out this passage from the second chapter. If Axelrod's tweet was a dog whistle, Treacher's post is a dinner bell:

With Lolo [Obama's stepfather], I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy). Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.

It reminds us of the conclusion of the sci-fi tale "A Boy and His Dog": "It's a cookbook."

The jokes write themselves.

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#ObamaDogRecipes: Yorkshire terrier pudding, mutt chop, Pekingese duck, bichon frisee salad, beagle with cream cheese, pure bread.

"So, Mr. President, where shall we go to eat?" "I know a great Spot."

If you want a friend in Washington, don't eat him (credit to Jim Geraghty).

Happiness is a warm puppy, with a side of fries.

Obama's favorite fast-food joint? Checkers (Patrick Daly).

I wouldn't vote for that guy for dogcatcher.

Did you hear about the insomniac polyphagiac president? He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Romney aide Erich Fehrnstrom got into the act last night, retweeting Axelrod's Obama-Bo snapshot from January with the comment: "In retrospect, a chilling photo." That may be the wrong adjective, since it doesn't appear to have been taken in a refrigerated truck. Obama really spoils that dog.

Almost as funny as the jokes at Obama's expense have been the discomfited responses of Obama supporters who've been dining out for months on the Seamus story. "Had only just noticed new rightwing Obama is weirdo Muslim dog eater meme. Thk you twitter," tweeted TalkingPointsMemo's Josh Marshall last night. It doesn't seem to have occurred to Marshall that as dogs are haram, this should put to rest the Muslim rumors.

Slate.com actually published a piece in defense of dog-eating--in January 2002. Talk about prescient. Meanwhile Mediaite quotes the founder of Dogs Against Romney:

"It seems desperate for the Romney campaign to bring up something that happened to Obama when he was 10 years old, not preparing his own meals, in a country where eating dog meat probably isn't all that unusual as if it compares in any way to Romney, as a 36-year old adult, in America, making the conscious decision to strap his family pet to the roof of a car for a 12-hour drive, and leaving it up there even after it got sick."Scott Crider, who writes his site in the voice of a dog, Rusty, said Romney was "desperate to divert attention from what Romney did."

That Obama was but a child is an entirely fair point. As National Review's Geraghty observes, "I doubt there are many Republicans or conservatives who are genuinely outraged or bothered" by it.

Well, maybe bothered. Geraghty notes in a later post that Andrew Zimmern, a "professional bizarre-food eater," has tried dog twice in Vietnam and vows never to do so again: "We have a pug at home." Observes Geraghty: "The Zimmern comments do indicate just how alien and taboo this is in American culture; it is so forbidden that a man whose fame and fortune derive largely from an entertainment program about eating strange food in foreign locales will not eat this particular animal again."

On the other hand, Obama was 33 when he published "Dreams From My Father," in which he recounted this tail--oops, tale--with no evident repugnance. Anyone who argues that the Lolo story is irrelevant while the Seamus one is fair game seems to us to be barking up the wrong tree. Geraghty closes his initial post on the subject with an astute observation:

In 2008, John McCain's presidential campaign wouldn't have touched this anecdote with a ten-foot pole. Between this and the Romney camp's rapid response to the [Hilary] Rosen comments, we are seeing a Republican presidential campaign that is exponentially faster on its feet and way more nimble than the previous general-election campaign against Obama.

Part of the reason for that is in 2008 Obama didn't have a record to defend, so that he ran a campaign that was part hope-and-change and part an attack on the incumbent, who wasn't on the ballot. This time around, his campaign is nasty by necessity, which makes it vulnerable in new ways. As with the "war on women," this dog fight is a dispute that the Obama campaign started.

Then again, somehow in 2008 the passage of "Dreams From My Father" that Treacher highlights escaped the notice of the watchdogs of the press, which is why it is news now, four years later and 17 years after publication. If a Republican turned out to have eaten dog meat as a child, the mainstream media's vetting would have included a visit to the veterinarian.

And Their Noses Are Cold "And They're Off: Obama and Romney Start Race Nose to Nose in Pew Research Poll"--headline, NationalJournal.com, April 17

Because Romney Didn't Eat Them "Rachel Maddow Explains Why The Romney 'Leaving Dog on Top of Car' Story Has 'Legs' "--headline, Mediaite.com, Jan. 12

'Why Is There No Blue Food?'--George Carlin "Blue Dog Democrats Face Extinction in Next Election"--headline, Politico.com, April 17

A Specialist in Food Allergies? "Allergist Offers Advice on Obama Dog Debate"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Nov. 11, 2008

One of These Things Is Not Like the Other Brian Stelter, who covers the media for the New York Times, reports on problems with the coverage of the alleged murder of Trayvon Martin:

For one of the major networks, NBC, the tapes of Mr. Zimmerman's calls to 911 were fodder for embarrassment. On two separate occasions, March 22 and 27, taped reports on the "Today" show took Mr. Zimmerman's description of Mr. Martin's race out of context, editing out the fact that the 911 dispatcher had asked him for the description.One producer was fired after an NBC investigation. An NBC spokeswoman said a series of disciplinary actions had been taken against others, but she would not share specifics.The case has been treacherous for other media outlets as well. Fox News was scrutinized after one of its hosts, Sean Hannity, was said to have talked off the record to Mr. Zimmerman. ABC was accused of misleading viewers by televising footage of Mr. Zimmerman after the killing that showed no blood or bruises on him, then showing an enhanced version of the footage that did seem to show a head wound.

Do you see what he did there? NBC and ABC used misleading audio and video clips, respectively--at best a serious error, at worst deliberate fraud. Fox, by contrast, "was scrutinized" (by whom?) because one of its journalists supposedly had an off-the-record conversation with a source.

Is it now unethical for a journalist to have an off-the-record conversation with a newsmaker? Or does that apply only when the source is a defendant in a trial-by-media?

War on Cancer Victims "Billionaire businessman Warren Buffett has been diagnosed with prostate cancer," reports National Journal:

Buffett, whose name has recently been attached to President Obama's proposal to tax millionaires, disclosed the cancer is stage 1, and his doctors told him it is not "remotely life threatening," according to a letter he sent to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders on Tuesday.

We're glad to hear Buffett's condition is treatable, but it's really mean of Obama to try to raise his taxes when the poor guy has cancer. Whatever happened to empathy?

Too Low for High Times From a press release issued yesterday:

Trans High Corporation, the parent company of High Times magazine, will, effective immediately, discontinue any advertising or promotional relationship with Village Voice Media due to their continued financial stake in Backpage.com, based on reporting by Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times and others who credibly accuse the website's "adult services" classified ads of being allegedly complicit in the advertising of child sex traffickers."While we remain staunch defenders of the First Amendment and free speech in general," Trans High Corp spokesperson Rick Cusick says, "We do not in any way condone such activity as has been alleged against Backpage.com, and this includes by advertising in media owned by its parent company."

It's good to see that High Times has high standards.

We Blame George W. Bush "Tony Perkins Blames Secret Service Prostitution Scandal on the Repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell"--headline, RightWingWatch.com, April 17

We Blame Global Warming "Important Reminder: Hot Girls Have Problems Too"--headline, HotAir.com, April 17

Shortest Books Ever Written "McGurn: The 'Likable' Barack Obama"--headline, The Wall Street Journal, April 17

Longest Books Ever Written "How Obama Dropped the Ball"--headline, NationalJournal.com, April 17

Mission Accomplished "Joe Kennedy III Calls for Ending 'Cheap Oil' "--headline, DailyCaller.com, April 18

Dukakis After Dark "Boston's Dinosaurs Attack"--headline, The Wall Street Journal, April 17

The Lonely Lives of Top Republicans "Top Republicans in Congress Finally Embrace Romney"--headline, Associated Press, April 17

The Lonely Lives of First Ladies "Ambassador Wives Appeal to Syria's First Lady"--headline, Isle of Wight Radio website, April 17

The Good News Is, Now They Can Collect Unemployment "District Fires Workers in Unemployment Benefits Probe"--headline, Washington Post, April 18

Life Imitates Monty Python

• Frenchman: "You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!"--from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 1975
• "In France there is no problem, just in England. You English think there is a problem, which is crazy. I have spoken with Pippa, she thinks this is all a joke and a funny game. We were just having a laugh. We are funny people, it's what we do."--Marcy de Soultrait, brother of designer Vicomte Arthur de Soultrait, quoted in London's Daily Telegraph, April 18, 2012

Obesity Is a Serious Problem "Human-Made Earthquakes Reported in Central U.S"--headline, Reuters, April 17

'And There's a Mirror Above It, if You Need to Do Your Makeup' "Arena Shares Sink as Big Dates for Diet Pill Makers Near"--headline, Minyanville.com, April 17

This Headline Was Better in the Original German "Newborn Abducted After Mother Fatally Shot Found"--headline, Associated Press, April 17

Questions Nobody Is Asking

• "Where's Romney's Outrage Over Ted Nugent?"--headline, Washington Post website, April 17
• "On the 'Buffett Rule,' Should Obama Get an A for Effort?"--headline, Washington Post, April 18

Dog Bites Obama--Now That Would Be News "Obama Bites Dog"--headline, DailyCaller.com, April 17

Too Much Information "Mitt 'Unzips' in a Quiet Room Called Palm Beach"--headline, Washington Post website, April 17

Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control "Column: NHL Increasingly Popular, Out of Control"--headline, Associated Press, April 18

News of the Tautological "A Korean fishing boat sank in New Zealand waters nearly two years ago because it was not watertight, an expert witness testified at an inquest today."--TVNZ website, April 17

News of the Doubly Oxymoronic "Almost overnight, Israel has become a mecca for beer drinkers."--Israel21c.org, April 16

News You Can Use "Jane Austen's Advice: Choose the Right Man and Live Happily Ever After"--headline, Townhall.com, April 18

Bottom Stories of the Day

• "Mitch Daniels Endorses Mitt Romney for President"--headline, Puffington Host, April 18
• "Harry Reid Shuts Down Budget Process in Senate"--headline, PowerLineBlog.com, April 17
• "A Week After He Dropped Out, Santorum Mailers Hit Iowa Ripping Romney as Frightening"--headline, Des Moines Register, April 17
• "Biden Revs Up Young People by Slamming Romney, GOP"--headline, Politico.com, April 17

Dreams From My Father-in-Law, Who Art in Heaven At least not everybody has lost faith in President Obama, The Weekly Standard reports:

"I am so in," Michelle Obama said toward the end of her remarks. "I am going to be working so hard. We have an amazing story to tell. This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light."The crowd of nearly 450 folks applauded as the first lady likened her husband to a Jesus-like figure.In the book of Matthew, we read, "the people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up." (Matthew 4:16) The phrase is used to describe the words Jesus preached. In Micah, light, however, is a reference to God's words. "Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me," it says in Micah 7:8.

We're reminded of another scripture verse, 2 Samuel 16:9: "Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, 'Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? . . .' "

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(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Jody Schwarz, Bennett Stern, Hillel Markowitz, Ethel Fenig, Michele Schiesser, Gerald Massoudi, Michael Driscoll, Bruce Goldman, Mike Cakora, Jim Schnabel, Sid Steward, John Williamson, Jeryl Bier, David Skurnick, Kris Tufts, John Sanders, Bryan Fischer, Zack Russ, Kyle Kyllan, Dave Ceely, Anthony Parisi, Dan Goldstein, Dennis Powell, Eric Jensen, Charles Sykes, Larry Pollack, Mark Kellner, Dave Nemzek, Aaron Gross, Miguel Rakiewicz, Ed Lasky, Michael VandeKerkhof and Sean Kelly. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)